My family is of German heritage. Germans, as a rule, open presents Christmas Eve rather than Christmas day. Santa, in our house, only filled the stockings we hung for him Therefore Santa was a much smaller deal than the big presents which came from parents and relatives. So discovering (?) Santa wasn't real was much less a big deal for me than for other kids.
For our own children, we never wanted them to think Santa was real and we took your exact approach: It is fun to pretend! Our kids are now grown and perfectly well-adjusted adults!, so, I 100% think you did the right thing with your daughter.
I fully intend to do the whole Santa thing with my daughter and I love how you handled it with yours when she asked <3 Definitely teared up while reading your story
May you never be too old to believe in the magic of every day. Santa is that magic that you bring someone, it's the careful thought behind each gift, its's that someone thought enough about you to want to make your day special and feel the joy and magic of Christmas.
May the joy and magic be with you and your family this holiday season, Felicia
Ugh, this made me cry. Maybe it's the postpartum hormones? Or maybe snuggling a 10 day old baby while thinking about how fleeting childhood is .... Yep, it's worthwhile to make magic happen for your kids.
I was sort of on team "don't lie to your kids" last time Christmas rolled around, when my first daughter was 2 and had no idea what Christmas was until she was simply overwhelmed with opening way too many gifts on Christmas Day. She is now 3, and this Christmas, everyone around her has started to talk about Santa. So I decided to play along. I'm truly a lazy person so I haven't done the whole "go to the mall to visit Santa" thing, but I figure we might as well do some kind Santa tradition so my kid isn't the one going to school being the odd one out because her parents are cold hearted monsters.
Anyway, this story - especially your absolutely perfect response to Calliope's existential questioning of the Santa myth - has convinced me it's worth lying to your kids if it means creating a little extra magic and some special memories. Thank you <3
AG Bear was a possessed creepy bear. He would go off in the middle of the night and scare me. lol. My boys are 10 and 14 and up until last year we held onto the story of Santa bringing in presents. But then my 10 year old stated to get really upset with Santa coming into our house and we revealed it was mommy and Grammie who put the presents under the tree. They both still believe in the magic of it all and won’t really call me or Grammie Santa. Yet they know there is not a stranger coming in the house dropping off presents.
I pretended for my mom too! I remember being maybe 5 and questioning if Santa was real because it didn't make sense to already-too-logical me, and she got upset, so I just pretended for a few more years.
I remember getting told Santa wasn't real by my ex-stepfather at the age of 5. My mom was angry and I was crying, broken-hearted. So for my little girl I'm going to make the magic last as long as possible. Then I'll explain to her that even when you don't believe in Santa, you can believe in the magic of "being Santa" to others. That you can spread kindness, cheer, and joy to others which in turn means you create the magic yourselves. Thanks for the newsletter Felicia, it was a wonderful read!
Late responding to this, but thanks for sharing. Reminded me of a birthday I had at around 9 or so years old: I knew my freshly divorced Dad was worried about money, so instead of asking for a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese or some other arcade, I asked to go to "The Big Burger King" that had a huge indoor play area (something rare in 1985). For the price of a big kid's meal I got to run around an elaborate jungle gym with a few friends, and hopefully let my Dad make rent.
I love this reaction!! I don’t have kids of my own but I had this conversation with a friend who has kids that are starting to ask - she was unsure what to say and I remembered how I LOVED believing in Santa as a kid so much that we still have presents under the tree from Santa to hold onto that childlike magic we loved as kids at Christmas. I suggested she tell her kids while Santa isn’t real, he represents the Christmas spirit in a way children can understand, and that as adults that changes into understanding the generosity of giving, creating your own magic, and carving out time to spend with family
Not sure that I ever actually believed in Santa, but as the eldest of the generation (siblings and cousins) I learned to keep my mouth shut - especially once I hit 7 and was wrapping the 'Santa' presents on Christmas Eve. I was never one for that side of imaginary though - give me a good story in a book and I can find life in it; ask me to believe in Santa or the Easter Bunny or the tooth fairy or even an imaginary friend and you're just going to get a very blank look...
I don't recall how my daughter transitioned to seeing Santa as a concept rather than a particular physical person, but as far as I'm concerned, Santa is real. In fact, he's more real than I am. If I disappeared tomorrow, the world won't be that much different apart from those I know. If Santa just stopped existing, the world would be kicked in the balls, IMO.
I also know he's real because sometimes I am a part of that magic, sometimes dressed up and sometimes just an anonymous gift-giver to strangers. Santa outsources his persona to parents and mall workers, and soup kitchen volunteers.
I'd like to think most of us believe in Santa where it counts. And I think it's sad that we think magic isn't real, just because we label its power as subjective and imaginative rather than objective and scientific.
And speaking of stuffed animals, my koala bear and I are writing a book, and I will make sure you get a copy ...
Have a Blessed (and Magical) Holiday Season, everyone!
I don't remember what age I stopped believing in Santa Claus but I do remember asking a parent about whether Santa Claus was real. Although I can't say for sure what they said but I'm pretty sure they let me know that they weren't.
My family is of German heritage. Germans, as a rule, open presents Christmas Eve rather than Christmas day. Santa, in our house, only filled the stockings we hung for him Therefore Santa was a much smaller deal than the big presents which came from parents and relatives. So discovering (?) Santa wasn't real was much less a big deal for me than for other kids.
For our own children, we never wanted them to think Santa was real and we took your exact approach: It is fun to pretend! Our kids are now grown and perfectly well-adjusted adults!, so, I 100% think you did the right thing with your daughter.
I fully intend to do the whole Santa thing with my daughter and I love how you handled it with yours when she asked <3 Definitely teared up while reading your story
May you never be too old to believe in the magic of every day. Santa is that magic that you bring someone, it's the careful thought behind each gift, its's that someone thought enough about you to want to make your day special and feel the joy and magic of Christmas.
May the joy and magic be with you and your family this holiday season, Felicia
I told our daughter, when she asked, that Santa is a game we play together. Someday, if she does it right, she’ll get to _be_ Santa.
Ugh, this made me cry. Maybe it's the postpartum hormones? Or maybe snuggling a 10 day old baby while thinking about how fleeting childhood is .... Yep, it's worthwhile to make magic happen for your kids.
I was sort of on team "don't lie to your kids" last time Christmas rolled around, when my first daughter was 2 and had no idea what Christmas was until she was simply overwhelmed with opening way too many gifts on Christmas Day. She is now 3, and this Christmas, everyone around her has started to talk about Santa. So I decided to play along. I'm truly a lazy person so I haven't done the whole "go to the mall to visit Santa" thing, but I figure we might as well do some kind Santa tradition so my kid isn't the one going to school being the odd one out because her parents are cold hearted monsters.
Anyway, this story - especially your absolutely perfect response to Calliope's existential questioning of the Santa myth - has convinced me it's worth lying to your kids if it means creating a little extra magic and some special memories. Thank you <3
AG Bear was a possessed creepy bear. He would go off in the middle of the night and scare me. lol. My boys are 10 and 14 and up until last year we held onto the story of Santa bringing in presents. But then my 10 year old stated to get really upset with Santa coming into our house and we revealed it was mommy and Grammie who put the presents under the tree. They both still believe in the magic of it all and won’t really call me or Grammie Santa. Yet they know there is not a stranger coming in the house dropping off presents.
This was a great read :) thank you for these, Felicia!
Hi Felicia. Nicely written as always. For me, Santa became a myth around 6-8 years old.
I pretended for my mom too! I remember being maybe 5 and questioning if Santa was real because it didn't make sense to already-too-logical me, and she got upset, so I just pretended for a few more years.
I remember getting told Santa wasn't real by my ex-stepfather at the age of 5. My mom was angry and I was crying, broken-hearted. So for my little girl I'm going to make the magic last as long as possible. Then I'll explain to her that even when you don't believe in Santa, you can believe in the magic of "being Santa" to others. That you can spread kindness, cheer, and joy to others which in turn means you create the magic yourselves. Thanks for the newsletter Felicia, it was a wonderful read!
Late responding to this, but thanks for sharing. Reminded me of a birthday I had at around 9 or so years old: I knew my freshly divorced Dad was worried about money, so instead of asking for a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese or some other arcade, I asked to go to "The Big Burger King" that had a huge indoor play area (something rare in 1985). For the price of a big kid's meal I got to run around an elaborate jungle gym with a few friends, and hopefully let my Dad make rent.
I love this reaction!! I don’t have kids of my own but I had this conversation with a friend who has kids that are starting to ask - she was unsure what to say and I remembered how I LOVED believing in Santa as a kid so much that we still have presents under the tree from Santa to hold onto that childlike magic we loved as kids at Christmas. I suggested she tell her kids while Santa isn’t real, he represents the Christmas spirit in a way children can understand, and that as adults that changes into understanding the generosity of giving, creating your own magic, and carving out time to spend with family
Magic is magic 💚
Not sure that I ever actually believed in Santa, but as the eldest of the generation (siblings and cousins) I learned to keep my mouth shut - especially once I hit 7 and was wrapping the 'Santa' presents on Christmas Eve. I was never one for that side of imaginary though - give me a good story in a book and I can find life in it; ask me to believe in Santa or the Easter Bunny or the tooth fairy or even an imaginary friend and you're just going to get a very blank look...
I don't recall how my daughter transitioned to seeing Santa as a concept rather than a particular physical person, but as far as I'm concerned, Santa is real. In fact, he's more real than I am. If I disappeared tomorrow, the world won't be that much different apart from those I know. If Santa just stopped existing, the world would be kicked in the balls, IMO.
I also know he's real because sometimes I am a part of that magic, sometimes dressed up and sometimes just an anonymous gift-giver to strangers. Santa outsources his persona to parents and mall workers, and soup kitchen volunteers.
I'd like to think most of us believe in Santa where it counts. And I think it's sad that we think magic isn't real, just because we label its power as subjective and imaginative rather than objective and scientific.
And speaking of stuffed animals, my koala bear and I are writing a book, and I will make sure you get a copy ...
Have a Blessed (and Magical) Holiday Season, everyone!
I don't remember what age I stopped believing in Santa Claus but I do remember asking a parent about whether Santa Claus was real. Although I can't say for sure what they said but I'm pretty sure they let me know that they weren't.