<-- Mom...people pleaser...author... I hope you read this and I wish I could tell you what I know... I'm about 11 years farther on a path similar to yours... I felt a lot like that when battling my inner self while raising my daughter in a way NOT like the way I was "reared." This year (she is now 15 yrs old), I finally felt like... I did it right... so I wanted to shine a light of hope (NOT pressure!!!)... My wonderfully-so-different-from-me daughter shocked me by getting into college a little early, and then didn't want to go unless I went with her. We are sophomores, pre-med/pre-law (we couldn't decide), take all the same classes, and face relatives and others who think I'm... <shrug? what word? bad? controlling?> whatever....because we just scored all A's last semester in pure pre-med classes.... so... I win. (My winning doesn't mean anyone else loses...in fact, it's hope...I hope it's hope?) I homeschooled, devoted my life to raising her, and it was worth every worry that I was doing it all wrong, because she adores our life together as much as I do. You mother good. I like you now. You're welcome?
I really feel this, after 6-7 years of working really hard as a game artist I feel like lost my personality because of the excessive work hours and rising expectations. Social media sharing sites always showing the best the world has to offer and you just performing for work and trying to endlessly improve to reach the next level or standard. It's not really until something goes wrong that you understand you're not living anymore you're just coping and for what exactly?
It's good that you recognise that's an inner demon of yours. Although there's a time and place for criticism I think we are all surrounded in a culture that just endlessly encourages us to compare ourselves as it is, we need to learn when to and when not to criticize ourselves and others better.
I think I'm getting better are not comparing too much anymore and just enjoying creating something day by day, but I've had to step away from the 2D game art and drawing as a profession to do that.
You’re a good mother, I’m glad to hear your daughter has an indomitable spirit. I’m not one to give advice, but in those moments…give yourself and your daughter the break you deserve. 🏴☠️❤️
Hello Felicia. I appreciate your insight, quirkiness & personal insights in your newsletters!! I also do things slowly like catching up on Felicitations!! Line of the year "We are whole and complete and wondrous without anything else on top" Keep on being this way! See you on Twitch!! UncleB101
I feel like you had to know what I needed to read this week. I'm feeling like I can't turn anything in professionally because it's not "perfect"... and I crave that praise so hard from my supervisors... which then spirals me down into a depressive fit. Sometimes, good enough is good enough -- and it's okay if you're not the favorite in the room all the time.
(Also, I know what you mean about the universe sending down a fuck-your-personality kid. My two year old is already more athletically inclined than I'll ever be. I think it's 2/3s my husband's contribution genetically, and 1/3 the universe cackling at circumstance. The stubbornness, he comes by honestly XD)
"I’ve had to question whether anything I’ve done, aside from playing video games, has really come from a rooted sense of ME wanting to do it, rather than the idea that other people would want me to do it."
This statement makes me think you might be more like your daughter than you think, but only when no one is watching / judging? Your daughter sounds wonderful. Mine wanted to play soccer, but after joining and realizing it wasn’t all that interesting, she decided it would be more fun if she played as a raptor. It was embarrassing and joyful … did I mention embarrassing? There was a lot of screeching involved.
Not sure if my opinions are unsolicited here but I say to let her chase the butterflies without interruption. Then let her jujitsu instructor discipline her, if it's an option.
Because no matter what's going on, a butterfly fluttering through feels magical. It is known.
And I think jujitsu regards a focus on the art as a specific necessity, to the point of avoiding distraction as a necessary strength.
So sitting quietly and letting both sides be beneficial seems to be the best option.
As far as you and your position as a self-help book who constantly sees itself as needing to be honed and improved. As a personal guide seeking guidance to guide itself more efficiently. As a guru of persistent betterment of feeling comfortable with in journey of betterment...
You exist within a realm of love, a cocoon of self mastery that you've already platformed. Just keep leaning on it. It's pretty sturdy, I think it can support you and is happy to help.
I wanted to learn to make mandolins and never have. But I will never have to deal with the disappointment of failing to sell one to you. Which just reaffirms that my life choices i.e. take up space and watch Netflix, are good ones.
Its amazing isn't it. Our little lady at 5 has a paralysed upper right arm, and since nursery she has been noted for being "independent" - she has her own way of attacking things, and god forbid anyone telling her otherwise - we found it much more satisfying to watch her grow into the stubborn, independent yet full of love young lady she is
I wish I had a therapist like yours. I don't know that I exist, my mother was Toxic AF and treated me like I was her highly paid employee who never did my job. Thank you for giving your daughter the freedom to find herself ((hugs)) 💝
You were one extreme. You are raising your daughter to go the other. The people who were rioting last year in LA were the other extreme. There is nothing wrong with a little discipline. As in "if you run into the street I will KILL you." My cousin was raised the other way. His father was a firefighter. He took him on a run and told him to stay in the firetruck. Of course, he didn't obey. He almost got himself killed.
<-- Mom...people pleaser...author... I hope you read this and I wish I could tell you what I know... I'm about 11 years farther on a path similar to yours... I felt a lot like that when battling my inner self while raising my daughter in a way NOT like the way I was "reared." This year (she is now 15 yrs old), I finally felt like... I did it right... so I wanted to shine a light of hope (NOT pressure!!!)... My wonderfully-so-different-from-me daughter shocked me by getting into college a little early, and then didn't want to go unless I went with her. We are sophomores, pre-med/pre-law (we couldn't decide), take all the same classes, and face relatives and others who think I'm... <shrug? what word? bad? controlling?> whatever....because we just scored all A's last semester in pure pre-med classes.... so... I win. (My winning doesn't mean anyone else loses...in fact, it's hope...I hope it's hope?) I homeschooled, devoted my life to raising her, and it was worth every worry that I was doing it all wrong, because she adores our life together as much as I do. You mother good. I like you now. You're welcome?
I really feel this, after 6-7 years of working really hard as a game artist I feel like lost my personality because of the excessive work hours and rising expectations. Social media sharing sites always showing the best the world has to offer and you just performing for work and trying to endlessly improve to reach the next level or standard. It's not really until something goes wrong that you understand you're not living anymore you're just coping and for what exactly?
It's good that you recognise that's an inner demon of yours. Although there's a time and place for criticism I think we are all surrounded in a culture that just endlessly encourages us to compare ourselves as it is, we need to learn when to and when not to criticize ourselves and others better.
I think I'm getting better are not comparing too much anymore and just enjoying creating something day by day, but I've had to step away from the 2D game art and drawing as a profession to do that.
"No, we are not what we achieve, we just ARE" YES. <3
You’re a good mother, I’m glad to hear your daughter has an indomitable spirit. I’m not one to give advice, but in those moments…give yourself and your daughter the break you deserve. 🏴☠️❤️
Hello Felicia. I appreciate your insight, quirkiness & personal insights in your newsletters!! I also do things slowly like catching up on Felicitations!! Line of the year "We are whole and complete and wondrous without anything else on top" Keep on being this way! See you on Twitch!! UncleB101
I feel like you had to know what I needed to read this week. I'm feeling like I can't turn anything in professionally because it's not "perfect"... and I crave that praise so hard from my supervisors... which then spirals me down into a depressive fit. Sometimes, good enough is good enough -- and it's okay if you're not the favorite in the room all the time.
(Also, I know what you mean about the universe sending down a fuck-your-personality kid. My two year old is already more athletically inclined than I'll ever be. I think it's 2/3s my husband's contribution genetically, and 1/3 the universe cackling at circumstance. The stubbornness, he comes by honestly XD)
I have those issues too. Thanks for sharing how you are coping with them.
"I’ve had to question whether anything I’ve done, aside from playing video games, has really come from a rooted sense of ME wanting to do it, rather than the idea that other people would want me to do it."
This statement makes me think you might be more like your daughter than you think, but only when no one is watching / judging? Your daughter sounds wonderful. Mine wanted to play soccer, but after joining and realizing it wasn’t all that interesting, she decided it would be more fun if she played as a raptor. It was embarrassing and joyful … did I mention embarrassing? There was a lot of screeching involved.
Not sure if my opinions are unsolicited here but I say to let her chase the butterflies without interruption. Then let her jujitsu instructor discipline her, if it's an option.
Because no matter what's going on, a butterfly fluttering through feels magical. It is known.
And I think jujitsu regards a focus on the art as a specific necessity, to the point of avoiding distraction as a necessary strength.
So sitting quietly and letting both sides be beneficial seems to be the best option.
As far as you and your position as a self-help book who constantly sees itself as needing to be honed and improved. As a personal guide seeking guidance to guide itself more efficiently. As a guru of persistent betterment of feeling comfortable with in journey of betterment...
You exist within a realm of love, a cocoon of self mastery that you've already platformed. Just keep leaning on it. It's pretty sturdy, I think it can support you and is happy to help.
I wanted to learn to make mandolins and never have. But I will never have to deal with the disappointment of failing to sell one to you. Which just reaffirms that my life choices i.e. take up space and watch Netflix, are good ones.
Not to contribute to your need for reinforcement, but I do continue to find so many of what you're doing pretty cool because you talk about this.
Its amazing isn't it. Our little lady at 5 has a paralysed upper right arm, and since nursery she has been noted for being "independent" - she has her own way of attacking things, and god forbid anyone telling her otherwise - we found it much more satisfying to watch her grow into the stubborn, independent yet full of love young lady she is
I wish I had a therapist like yours. I don't know that I exist, my mother was Toxic AF and treated me like I was her highly paid employee who never did my job. Thank you for giving your daughter the freedom to find herself ((hugs)) 💝
You were one extreme. You are raising your daughter to go the other. The people who were rioting last year in LA were the other extreme. There is nothing wrong with a little discipline. As in "if you run into the street I will KILL you." My cousin was raised the other way. His father was a firefighter. He took him on a run and told him to stay in the firetruck. Of course, he didn't obey. He almost got himself killed.
Thank you so much for this. I really relate and the way you put it that was just ARE spoke to me!
Id rather just flip a house for realz ... bu t tempting - sirmooer