It's Time to Act!

In which I decide to have a career again. Maybe lol.

The last time I had acting agents was in 2018. I’d just had a baby, and since that’s like being hit by a truck and knocked flat into a smushy pancake on the road of life and then you gotta somehow piece yourself together again in a new but (ideally) better pancake shape, it was tough. I’d also just left my company Geek and Sundry, which was emotionally wrenching in a way I didn’t expect. And it didn’t help that my reps (all dudes) suddenly started submitting me for tons of boring sitcom mom roles, not understanding that my personality didn’t completely change when I bred?! Such is the world!

So I said, “Thank you, but I’m leaving,” to all of them in order to get time to figure myself out. And I thought, “Let’s take a year off, then get back in there. I’ll have a new perspective, and get some fresh eyes on my career!” A year later, April 2019, I’d just decided to find new agents after flying up to Vancouver to film an episode of of a TV show I was on for eight years on and off. The show was ending, I was closing one chapter, time to start a new one, right?!

The day I flew home the border between Canada and USA closed down for Covid. I haven’t been back since. And didn’t have an acting rep for 4 years.

Liiiiiittle different than I expected!

Now, I definitely could have gotten someone to submit me for roles between then and now. But…I kinda liked NOT? Since I was 20 years old, I’d been on perpetual “hold” for my acting career. Waiting for the phone to ring. Assuming I was going to be rejected with every part I submitted myself for, but having to take the time to audition anyway. Changing my life up whenever someone wanted to hire me, because in a freelance world you gotta jump on EVERY OPPORTUNITY. And ya’ll…it was exhausting! That kind of life doesn’t allow you to have a world you have any control over. I didn’t realize how powerless I felt in my own skin until I got some power back. It was…life-changing.

Covid was traumatic and awful for all of us, yes, but the one bright spot was that it taught me that owning your time and your SELF is key to living a good life. For the first time in 20 years, I did what I wanted and didn’t care if the phone was gonna ring or not. I got to stream video games and create a great community on Discord and Twitch. I got to write and not RUSH writing. (The quiet times I got to write Third Eye at my own pace are some of my favorite I’ve ever spent.) I made stuff, I lived my life and prioritized who I was. I also baked a lot of chocolate cake, which caught up with me, but…dealing with that now, lol.

Those four years gave me the space to rebuild myself from the ground up. I got my anxiety and health under control. I learned what it meant to prioritize my family and myself. And yet…I realized this summer, I was missing something.

I love acting. I love playing a great character. I love being on set. And I love being part of a fan family. So I decided it was time do something about.

Looking back, I realize that all the roles on TV I love the most are roles that were written for me because of the work I put into the world myself. Writers liked my work and voila! Brilliant geeky parts galore. Unfortunately, I didn’t have faith that, after one of my favorite parts ended in 2019, I would find an equally good part on a show-family I wanted to belong to. Because the parts I’d auditioned for in 2018 were SO LAME. But going forward, I have to believe there’s some cool stuff out there. So I’ve decided to try to find it.

I just hired a manager. (A woman. A mom. It’s gonna make a difference, I know it.) And I got new headshots (thanks Emily Sandifer for the one below!)

And I THINK that, now I’ve built up some distance, I can try and have a little faith in the world. Even Hollywood. But especially, I feel, for the first time, I faith in myself. I know what I want to do. (A few dream goals: Be on Star Trek, go to Fantastic Fest with a movie, be on the poster of SOMETHING, lol.) I will be picky and, if nothing else happens, I will approach this ruthless business with the thought, “If I get rejected, I can always go home and write something, then cuddle my kiddo. Because nothing else matters, really.”

My new mantra is that “I was blessed before. I will be blessed again. There will be a mature, geeky quirky lady I can play on a cool show that checks my genre boxes. And hopefully I can dissect an alien or something on one of them.”

And if not, well, at least I know I’m not desperate for any random sitcom mom job. I know myself now. I know my worth. As a friend said, “Lasso that lead character energy, Felicia!” Thanks, London Hughes, I’m trying. But I’m never gonna spend what you do on shoes, haha.

See ya’ll on the big screen next year? Or not. Either is good ;)

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INTERESTING LINKS

• I could watch this guy make Japanese food models for hours.

• A helicopter set off a mass crocodile orgy. Not making this up.

• As someone who got totally ripped off by a crypto experiment (my bad!), the schadenfreude I’m feeling about AI being a money pit is nicely translatable lol.

• Twelve ways to use canned crescent rolls?! Sopapilla Cheesecake?! YES PLEASE!

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PERSONAL LINKS (also interesting)

• Third Eye was #3 on the Audible Fiction bestselling chart last week! THANKS FOR SUPPORTING. If you could also rate and review the project it would help me out :)

• I did a really cool interview with Pandora where I put a playlist together that inspired me while writing Third Eye. I explain why before each song. Very fun.

• I will be at MCM London Comicon Oct 27-29th please stop by to say hello!

• Appearing at only two more cons this year: Rhode Island Comicon and SPN Honolulu. Next year is TBD, if you have a request for me to go to one, leave it in comments.

• I’m still streaming on Twitch 2-3 times a week. I’ll be on the road a bit this fall for family travel so check my Discord Announcements channel for updated schedule.

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See you next month, and on my Discord channel in between for chatting and friendship! <3

oxox
Felicia