"Process" is the Good Stuff
Thoughts on art and AI and what the point of all of it is. Small stuff like that.
I am doing a birthday charity fundraising stream July 1st, 7am-3pm PST, to raise money for the Atlanta parrot charity Papayago Rescue House. Tune in or donate directly to my Tiltify campaign pls! Any amount is appreciated and 100% deductible.
Birthdays always come with a lot of existential dread, right? This can’t just be me. (Please don’t say it’s just me!!) I always get depressed at the beginning of June and spend four weeks brooding and eating badly and vowing to work out more (but definitely don’t). By the 28th, I have absolutely dug myself into a depressive pit. I hate how the stupid life-number-flip forces me to zoom out and survey how I’ve ended up where I am now, and wonder where I’m going from here.
Mostly, it’s not encouraging, lol.
This year, with unpredictability of politics and the absolute gutting of the business of Hollywood (I know I talked about it earlier this year, but here’s a recent article from Vulture that has a summary on why LA is a now ghost town and everyone is moving away), life is particularly fraught. But weirdly, I’m finding myself kinda fueled by the bottoming-out of some parts of my career, and the chaotic uncertainty of the future. It’s almost as if shaking off the idea that I have any real control over ANYTHING is…refreshing? (Is this Buddhism? It might be Buddhism. I’ll check.) Anyway, I realize even more clearly now that all I can do is me. All I can rely on is myself, my family, my friends and my community. And that clarity of shrinking my world to the important stuff is freeing in a weird way.
Basically, it’s a Zen birthday, dudes.
RE: my last newsletter, I started oil painting classes for fun to shake the blues off. I wanted to pick up a hobby that would allow me to grow, because as I mentioned, that feeling has been few and far between in my life lately. After completing three canvases, I feel like I’m at the Peak of Mount Stupid, as this blog says you do when you start to learn something new. I’l be at the Valley of Despair soon, I know it, but I’ll keep with it, because it’s like going on vacation when I show up to class. This is me and my first painting.
I really wish I’d had the skills to make those cliffs into demon claws. Maybe next time!
Most surprising is how much I enjoy, not the end result, but the PROCESS of painting. During the three-hour class, I experience that beautiful thing called “Creative Flow”. It’s like playing a video game for hours, and time flies by with no thought. But I actually have something to show after, yay! Best of both world.
The process of starting with loose sketches, and then getting a bit more specific with color blocks, and then a bit more specific, and then saving all the tiny details for last, helped me realize that ALL creative process is kind of like that. Just like the Snowflake Method for novel writing, we have to start with broad strokes, make sure we’re in tune as an artist with that bigger looser vision, then refine refine refine. The PROCESS of figuring out what you want to say and how to say it is literally what art is.
The PROCESS is what grows you. The PROCESS is where you truly learn who you are. It’s the hardest part, yes, but PROCESS is the point of everything.
But I realize it’s something all of us are being encouraged to give up on. Which sucks. That’s one of the reasons why I recently posted this video rant regarding art and AI.
Yes, I understand it’s a great dopamine hit to enter a prompt and have “art” pop out, but let’s be honest, it’s not art. Like I say in the video, I believe that art is drawing from your own UNIQUE experiences and channeling it into a chosen format in only the way you can. Everyone’s drawing of a cat will be slightly different, right? That’s the beauty of being alive. And AI has nothing to do with that. Being alive, or art. It takes the stolen material from other people and generates something that falls within reasonable parameters of what everyone else has done before. Where are original ideas going to come from? Not from AI, that’s for sure!
But I keep seeing more and more articles on how students are using AI to complete all their work for them. Hell, the teachers are doing it too. (FYI It’s a good way to degrade your brain according to this new MIT study.) And I get so angry because, if we’re handing over the very keys to THINKING to AI then…what is the POINT? Yes, of living. I’m asking you.
Feel free to take a few minutes to answer.
Existential thoughts galore in June birthday gloom lol, but honestly, what is the point in jettisoning the thinking, creating parts of our existence? How will we get to know who we really are in our lifetimes if we’re constantly handing our thoughts over to AI? Sure, AI might be able to give us a quick itinerary for a Frech vacation, but if you take away all the left-turns and dead-ends and rabbit holes of researching for yourself, what a boring-ass vacation that will be! You’ll never get the Torture Museum on your schedule that way!!
And what are we reserving our time saved by all this tech for, anyway? Grinding for more money to earn enough to consume more things? I dunno, man. It all feels like a trap. I was the biggest proponent of the beauty of the internet bringing people together fifteen years ago. Oh what a naive idiot. Sorry about that, guys. The tech billionaires thank me for my cute advocacy!!
Anyway, let’s all just be conscious of making it a priority to not give our brains over to machines. Or, if you choose to do it for some things, make sure you’re reserving your brain for something truly wonderful with the time you’re saving. Because learning and creating is NEVER A WASTE OF TIME. It’s the point of living.
I told my daughter that I’d rather her not go to college than go to college and use AI to think for her to pass tests. Because the PROCESS of learning is the point.
She’s eight, so she rolled her eyes. But she’ll get it one day, I know it.
Anyway, it’s my birthday, thanks for listening to my rant!
TLDR: Less is more. Don’t let AI think or create for you. Learning things rocks.
Interesting Links:
I just redecorated my house and this website with color palettes really helped me pick out throw pillow colors. Yes, I can be a basic B.
I love maps and Inkarnate allows you to download GORGEOUS ONES for gaming or just your amusement.
Science verifies what we introverts already knew: Being alone can be AWESOME.
I want to try this lady’s soy sauce SO BAD. (This is not innuendo)
Personal Links (Also Interesting):
REMINDER!!!!! For my birthday, please donate to my Tiltify campaign! The parrot and bird charity I support, Papayago Rescue House in Atlanta, is moving and needs funds to build out the new rooms. We’re aiming to raise $10k and name the hospital room after my online community, Team Hooman. Any amount is appreciated and 100% deductible!!!
My movie “Tim Travers and the Time Travelers Paradox” is streaming NOW! On APPLE TV among others!!! Check it out! Follow the movie’s IG for deets!
I will see some of you at Atlanta Comicon in July and at SDCC for panels Thurs and a brief signing that Fri, time TBD. Check my Discord closer for schedule!
See you next month, and on my Discord channel in between for chatting and friendship! <3
oxox
Felicia
It’s such a relief to find that someone else is asking the questions about AI that I’ve been asking myself recently. What happens to us as a society when we stop thinking and problem solving? Who are we if we let computers do everything for us? What will happen to my brain if I stop using it? I work in tech, and it’s so disheartening to see so many people jump on the bandwagon of AI without questioning what they’re sacrificing. Nurturing creativity is so important for combating this increasing need for convenience; creating art, or music, or jewelry, or whatever you want. Crafting something with your hands. Reading a physical book. Any activity where I feel like I’m actively involving my brain AND my body gives me so much more fulfillment than the digital world, because it’s so much more real. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and happy birthday!
Happy Birthday!!!! Yes the numbers keep changing but you truly are as young as your mind feels. You may be geting older but that doesn't mean you have to grow up!