New Year, New Mindset!

In which I'm rejected, again, but I'm totally okay with it.

This year seems to be starting with a “meh” more than anything. That’s fine! My mottos for 2024 are “I’m enough” and “No, I’m not doing that thing for you out of guilt, thank you.” I’m good no matter what. Mostly because I own a red power suit.

Moving on. In a not-so-stunning rejection, a major Hollywood publication requested I write a personal essay about my career and “Third Eye” late last year, then…decided not to run it. Oookay?

I suppose because it doesn’t have any big industry BRAGS in it, only a heartfelt appraisal of a career and renewed creative mindset. That’s okay! I’ll give it to ya’ll instead, and hope you pass it around and vibe with its “screw it, let’s make stuff!” attitude afterwards. Read on!

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The 5th time I was killed off a TV show I said to myself, “Felicia, it’s time to start writing your own projects again.”

Years before that, I’d starred in my own digital series “The Guild”, a comedy about online gamers. It was a short-form phenomenon during a time when internet video seemed like it had the potential to disrupt Hollywood. (Spoiler alert: It didn’t.) But the show accumulated millions of fans around the world and packed ComiCon rooms for six seasons. Hell, the outfit I wore is now in the Smithsonian American History Museum’s permanent collection. And even though we made most of the show low-budget in my garage, I loved making it. 

For all the awards and fans “The Guild” had, we were never approached by anyone in Hollywood to adapt it for television. Strange, but the show’s success opened doors for me to play a quirky geek girl character on several TV series, for which I am forever grateful. 

Until I got killed off. Over and over again. Yeah, that part wasn’t the best!

The scenario was similar every time. I'd get hired as a guest star, my part would become recurring. I’d get comfy, start to feel like I belonged. Then I’d get a call from the producer or showrunner saying, “Hey Felicia, sorry, we love you, but you’re dying next week,” and my heart would break. Not that I MINDED being the Sean Bean of women in Sci-Fi, but at some point it woulda been nice to at least be on the poster before being murdered, you know?! I decided I had to create my own television show. I mean, “The Guild” was such a success, the transition was gonna be easy, right?!

I set out into the wider entertainment world to pitch and develop. And pitch and develop. Annnnd pitch and develop. As anyone in the industry knows, Hollywood development can be a whirlpool you get caught in and never escape. I know I didn’t!

None of my original ideas hit. Too quirky, too niche. I received at least a dozen books to adapt with the word “Geek” in the title, though! I passed. Instead, I started throwing my hat into adapting big Sci-Fi/Fantasy IP, because I’m a huge fan of comic books and fantasy novels. But after a while, creating fifty page Keynote decks became VERY tiring. And the projects I actually got hired to adapt? To give you a small sample, on one, the production company went bankrupt, didn’t pay me, but for some reason still owned all the original ideas and characters I created for the script. Forever. Yay, contract law! 

TLDR, it didn’t go smoothly. 

That was four years of my life. Until the accumulation of development hell and dying as an actor under someone else’s pen over and over finally got to me. Out of emotional necessity, I decided I needed to return to the DIY world. I’d put my fate in other peoples’ hands for too long and needed to live again, in more ways than one.

Some “stuff” has happened since then (looking at you Covid, and several strikes!) but my dream DIY writing project, a scripted audio series called “Third Eye”, finally just released on Audible. It’s a comedy about a fantasy-genre Chosen One who fails her battle with the Big Bad and has to live with knowing she’s the biggest loser in the existence. Yes, there are emotional connections between me and the main character I got to gnaw on around the concept of “Failure”, listen and see if you can spot them!

I can’t tell you how amazing it was to be able to see the episodes actually recorded. I asked all my friends to be in it: Neil Gaiman, Sean Astin, Wil Wheaton, London Hughes, cameos by Harvey Guillen and Weird Al…you name the part, my friends were kind to show up. Yes, writing seven hours of content for audio-only was a bit of a learning curve, but let’s be honest, TV is 80% audio now anyway, since we’re all looking at our phones while we watch. So just think of “Third Eye” as “TV for your ears” and give it a listen! It debuted in the top 10 in Fiction on Audible’s best-seller list, and has already hit multiple “Best of 2023” lists.

The rush of finally making something and getting it out there again has been so motivating. Right now I’m working on two graphic novels and a project for the stage. And I just recorded a feature I’ve tried to get made for ten years as a scripted audio podcast. Self-financed. Who will distribute it? Well, I can do it on Bandcamp myself if someone else won’t! I’m not waiting for permission anymore. If I love a something, I’ll figure out a way to make it. Because that’s all that counts. Stories. Existing. Whatever the format.

I won’t lie, the idea of turning “Third Eye” into a TV Show is a dream. (I wouldn’t have to worry about getting killed off, for one!) But I’m not pinning my hopes on that. I’ve learned the hard way that no one is entitled to anything in Hollywood. Not to sell a show, not to stay alive on a series. Truth is, nothing you did yesterday matters in this business, it’s only about what you’re able to do tomorrow. That idea used to be soul-crushing, but now I realize you can flip it on it’s head to be invigorating. Because there are so many ways to make something on your own nowadays. So many formats, so many fans waiting to enjoy what you make. The power is still in the creators' hands, and it’s glorious. 

Sure it would be nice to be on a poster one day. Mine or someone else’s. But until then, if no one in Hollywood will put a ring on it…

…well, I’ll just keep making my own jewelry. ;)

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Interesting Links:

• I’m all about my gut health. And the emerging science about how important your microbiome is for your physical AND mental health is definitely worth exploring. And maybe taking probiotics for!

• An essay justifying having tons of unread books surrounding me at all times? Yes please!

• I’ve enjoyed tree.fm lately while writing. Soundtracks of forests from around the world. sooooothing.

• DEEPLY invest in how the Pandora enclosure is emerging over on YouTube at CanadaAnts. My daughter and I watch it like TV together.

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Personal Links (Also Interesting):

• My Audible original “Third Eye” is still available for download! 7 hours worth of fantasy adventure laughs, starring me and Neil Gaiman and Wil Wheaton and tons of more amazing performers. Pick it up, please!

• My 2024 convention schedule is totally updated on felicia.day, check it out and come say hello!

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See you next month, and on my Discord channel in between for chatting and friendship! <3

oxxo
Felicia